The Contract Blog

First a little background. On November 13^th, I received specific direction to begin a Call to Greatness teleseminar course. Twelve days later, I received guidance to work with my coach, Coco Fossland, for the business knowledge required to accomplish this.

Doing this took me on an unexpected journey—through an ancient wall of fear.

Coco suggested I use a tried-and-true marketing formula for my teleseminar: offer a free sample of what I do for 2 or 3 weeks running and then, at the end of the last session, invite people to join me in going further together on a paying basis. This made sense, so I moved forward. I meditated and got the concept of the Call to Greatness Power Circles, then invited Valerie to join me in the venture (thank you, Valerie!).

I have done more difficult and challenging things in my life. Yet, in the last two weeks of the 3-week introductory period, I was filled with anxiety about the Invitation I was to offer for people to sign up for the class. And suddenly I recognized that this so-called anxiety was Fear in one of his many disguises.

Well, I certainly know Fear by now. I hesitate to call him an old friend, but I have spent many an hour with him over the years and I know him well. And I know just how to deal with him, too: just take a deep breath and do it anyway. So I did just that—I wrote out what I wanted to say in my Invitation and prepared myself for delivery.

Now, I need to say that the exact nature of this fear is unclear to me. I am no stranger to marketing or to speaking in front of people and I have certainly charged people for my services before. I tried naming it and then finally decided it was far more important to focus on courageous action than on analysis. So I just plunged on ahead. And in the final week, it felt very much as if I was working my way through a wall, laboriously chipping away at who-knows-what.

On the day of the last free session, the day of the Invitation, I was talking to Valerie, telling her how odd I felt, that I had this anxiety, even though I didn’t feel afraid of anything specific. And then, as I was talking to her, I saw a wall begin to crumble. It was an ancient wall of stone, gray stone with spots of moss here and there. It was very tall and very old, and as it crumbled a lot of dust flew up. And I knew it as an ancient wall of fear, standing there perhaps for many lifetimes, and now it was falling down—at last.

Then, as I was looking at the pile of stones that were quickly turning to dust and blowing away, a very unusual thing happened. An angel showed up with a hose—and she turned it on me and started hosing me down, washing away all of the fear dust I might have picked up on my journey through the wall—and she laughed with joy as she did it. And when she was done, I saw myself as a small child, running through the sprinklers, laughing and completely carefree, full of the joy of just being alive.

And now I am a person transformed. My entire 15-year journey makes perfect sense to me, including the things that didn’t seem to work out at the time. I am walking in crystal clarity and can see a road stretched out ahead of me, a road I walk not just as a spiritual seeker inviting others along for the ride, but also as a true teacher. And all along the roadside I see angels and masters, and they applaud me as I venture forth.

And so there we have it. I was led to finally knock down an ancient wall of fear that I was not even aware existed. I can’t name it, but I know it was real, solid and was clearly blocking me. And then I stepped out onto a road on the other side that I had not been able to see before.

And all I had to do was follow the guidance from Spirit that came to me, step by step, without asking why—and without letting a little fear stop me.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Dear Friends,

Valerie called me this morning. She awoke from a dream exploring what we are to do together, followed by an understanding that we were to sit at the Council of God—without knowing exactly what that meant. She said she sensed that I had been there before, but that she had not. I can say only that it felt like a comfortable and familiar place and that I went there immediately.

We found ourselves sitting at a table made of grey and white marble with a beveled edge. The table was lengthwise, stretching out to the right and left. Across from us was an enormous white light, so bright that the other side of the table could not be seen, so incandescent that nothing could be seen except a few inches of table right in front of us. The force of the light was so strong, it was like a wind blowing right at us, full of movement and life. But we did not feel anything physical; it was like being permeated with the glow, filled with the light of divine knowledge.

Everything that came to us was simply a knowing, like having the understanding just appear in your mind without words. There was also a great sense of well-being, that the world is good, that it is different than it once was, but that it is good, our world.

After a time we became aware of Jesus, as if he had been there all the time, but that we were just becoming conscious of his presence. I saw Jesus to the right, Mary Magdelene to the left and sensed Mother Mary behind us. And we had the sense, the knowing, that they were to be our very special guides in this journey, this journey of our unfolding lives going forward.

There was a strong sense of choice, that we had chosen to give our lives to this, and that since this was so, they would be here to guide us every step of the way.

“We chose to give our lives to this.” This was the knowing. And with this understanding, there came another moment of choice, an opportunity to confirm: Yes, I know what I am doing and I am choosing this, to give my life to this, to consciously walk into this mystery fully and completely.

Then we became aware that there was room at this table for everyone who chooses to be here, and we sensed that the long table stretched out to infinity, the table of the Council of God, with room for all who choose to sit here. And the knowledge just continued to blow right into us, filling us, without words, as we sat at the table.

And then, after a time, our audience at the Council of God was complete.

In talking to Valerie afterwards, I told her that I have had a growing sense that by the end of my Contract period, I am going to feel that what I have asked for is completely unimportant. I am beginning to feel this more and more every day.

And as I told this to Valerie, I saw how desires can be a mirror of fear, that we unknowingly desire the opposite of what we fear, and that as the fear subsides, the desire subsides along with it. And this has been happening over the last two months: my fear that I need things to be other than they are has been steadily replaced by a growing sense of well-being with life just as it is, a gentle, settled feeling inside. It’s actually a bit similar to that feeling at the Council of God, the sense that the world is just fine and I am just fine within it. It’s not a big feeling, not ecstatic or joyful, just settled and good, calm and safe.

So does this mean that The Contract will not be fulfilled as agreed upon? I have no idea. I know only that this journey of The Contract is important, which is why I was asked to share it with you. As for the rest, well, we shall see.

As for the Council of God, Valerie then asked: “Do you think this is what we are going to be doing on Sunday?”

Ah, I think it might be, it just might be. After the last Call to Greatness Power Circle, I was wondering what would come next. Perhaps this is it: We will all sit at the Council of God.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

I haven’t been saying much about the physical side of my contract, the 25 pounds I wished to lose, because frankly, not that much has been happening. When I remember to ask, Spirit gives me good advice about what to eat and drink, but nothing I don’t know. I’ve meditated on increasing my metabolism and I feel a little boost, but really, not that much. I can feel a little shift inside and I would say that the struggle has abated somewhat, but again, nothing astounding.

I’m in an interesting state. On the one hand, I’m reasonably pleased with my appearance, not overly critical, but on the other hand, there is a deep knowing that I am not meant to be carrying this extra weight. Just accepting it gracefully, as I try to do with the signs of aging, does not feel quite right.

The other day, while I was rushing around getting ready to go out, I caught sight of my naked body in a full-length mirror and just stopped in my tracks. It was a “notice this” moment. I didn’t feel harsh or critical, but rather simply felt this: This is not me, not as I am meant to be.

I think I found the right words for it today: This is not the dream my soul had for me in this lifetime.

Today, I told Valerie that it looked as if there wasn’t going to be any miracle, where I get to eat and drink whatever I like and somehow magically achieve my perfect weight regardless. Actually, in a lifetime of struggle in this area, there are only two miracles I know of, where I was able to achieve my right weight effortlessly: when I was falling in love and when I was taking Fen-Phen.

In case you don’t know, Fen-Phen was a weight loss drug of the mid-90’s, taken off the market after a few years because of side effects. It was a combo of two drugs, one a metabolism booster and one a mood elevator. I took Fen-Phen for two wonderful years.

I am so glad I had the Fen-Phen experience, because it showed me something very important: it’s chemical. There I was, with the same psychological and spiritual “issues” I had the day before, but when I started taking Fen-Phen, none of them mattered. I watched my calories, yes, but it was easy. I could walk right by a plate of chocolate chip cookies and not even be tempted. My cravings were simply gone, as were my bouts with depression. For those two years, I was slender, energetic and never depressed. I lost fifty pounds at a nice steady pace of 1.5 pounds per week.

It was fabulous. I would have taken Fen-Phen for the rest of my life, if it hadn’t been taken off the market. And it was just a pill.

While I was talking to Valerie on the phone about all this, I suddenly felt a need to meditate for a while, so this I did. And after a time, a thought crossed my mind, about a book I read many years ago, called Access Your Brain’s Joy Center by Pete Sanders. So I embarked on a house search for it and discovered that I actually had two copies, one for each of us, it would seem.

It’s odd that I had forgotten about this book. For a time I had practiced what it recommends and found it very useful. Basically, Sanders tells you about a place in your brain that affects your moods, the septum pellucidum. What you do is very simple, especially for those of us who are visualizers and who understand the gentle touch that is necessary for intuitive and meditative functions.

Here it is. Gently focus your attention on your third eye. Then move your mental gaze back into the center of your brain, staying at the level of the third eye. (It is important to keep your focus above eye level, to avoid stimulating the old limbic brain.)

Then very gently stimulate the septum pellucidum with a light caress, brushing across the nerves like strumming a harp. You will feel your body respond with an inner smile, a release of pressure and tension, a little touch of physical joy. My personal technique is to tickle it with a little mental feather.

As I recall from some years ago, the more you practice, the stronger your body’s response to this gentle touch. I think I will picture it as releasing wonderful, happy chemicals, bathing my mind and body in peace and joy.

So here’s my natural Fen-Phen, free of side effects. For the Fen upper, a buzz from Spirit during meditation, in response to a request to boost my metabolism. For the happy Phen pill, a little mental tickle to send a flood of falling-in-love chemicals through my body.

Ah, that feels good!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I need to check in on something. At the end of my conversation with Coco, I felt Spirit’s presence as pressure, pushing on me. It was as if I was being told to get a move on, that there was so much for me to accomplish. No, that’s not quite it. I should say, there is so much that Spirit wants to accomplish through me.

But in order for this to happen, I have to be free of my computer consulting that takes up so much time, free to dedicate myself 100% to what needs to be done. And so, in order to do this, I need to pay attention to what Coco is telling me and make it work.

I felt like crying after I hung up. Was I overwhelmed? Or was it just that sometimes the strong presence of spirit makes one cry?

In any event, I feel that there is a message for me, so here I am.

Spirit: Yes, Carrie, you have correctly interpreted the feeling. But you are not asked to know what to do, to figure things out. You are asked to open yourself to guidance and then follow through. You do not need to know the solution; you only need to follow the steps.

And yes, there is much to be done. Since you have declared yourself willing to take this on, then it will flow to you. And yes, sometimes it will be intense. And yes, the time is here to make this work, to support yourself entirely on the fruits of the incredibly important work we will do together. There is no conflict. It all makes perfect sense.

And so, this coming weekend, after your holiday festivities are done, we will dedicate some time to mixing Coco’s business guidance with your heart and with Spirit. And we will come up with the next steps, something that works on all levels. Now, relax and go finish your dinner preparations.

11/21/2009 7:18 AM

My first radio show is tomorrow. It was so easy to set up—and, like the book publishing, it’s actually free!

I know Spirit will be right there, so I’m not worried about the show itself, just some excitement. As for the technical part, one of the people who read my announcement has a radio show and offered to spend some time training me today. So I should be all set!

Show: Sunday 11/22/09 at 4 PM PST / 7 PM EST

Call-in Number: (917) 889-3183

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/carriehart

Do you have any words for me?

Spirit: Talk about yesterday.

Ah, so that is to be shared?

Spirit: Not specific to another person, no, but what happened and who showed up, yes.

Yesterday, I met with someone who had been a devout Christian as a child. As she moved away from the church, she was criticized by others in the name of God and Jesus. She was very interested in the experiences I had with Jesus that she read in my book, A Call to Greatness. But she was cautiously interested, as one would be who had been badly hurt.

When I went to meet her, I was curious to see if Jesus would show up to help repair this relationship. As we talked, I began to get a sense of a presence, but it was feminine and masculine mixed. I found myself starting to talk about Mary Magdalene.

Then I went to the restroom, and the moment I was alone, I felt Mary Magdalene’s presence in full force, with chills all over my body. She very clearly wanted to be “introduced.” So when I returned to the table, this is exactly what I did. I could sense Mary Magdalene standing there beside the table, with Jesus right behind her, his hand upon her shoulder. She was issuing an invitation, an invitation that was gladly accepted.

I was talking to Valerie afterwards, since Valerie has a very close relationship to Mary Magdalene, and was, in fact, the person who first made me aware of this wonderful spiritual presence. And now I see that the Mary Magdalene energy can offer a gentle and accessible path to Jesus, just as Mother Mary has for so many. But this energy is not motherly. It is vibrant and young, embracing life with exuberance and love, even as it also leads into the heart of the wisdom-love energy that I have known as Jesus.

I have also noticed that the Jesus energy is softer when Mary Magdalene’s energy is there. Well, of course. It feels like a strong, virile man who is in love. All the power is there, but the edges are rounded.

Very interesting…

Spirit: Thank you.

Thank you!

If this interests you, here are two books I recommend (in addition to my own, of course!)

The Third Jesus, by Deepak Chopra

Deepak Chopra sees 3 aspects to Jesus: the historical man, about whom we know little; the deity worshiped in Christian churches; and yet a third one, with his words interpreted differently. Chopra analyzes biblical text in the context of this Third Jesus, who is the one I have personally experienced. It was also very interesting to see how Deepak Chopra, coming from an Eastern tradition, views Jesus.

The Gnostic Gospels, by Elaine Pagels

In 1945 an Egyptian peasant unearthed the gospels of the Gnostics, a persecuted Christian sect. Elaine Pagels was part of a UN team that translated the findings. This book presents an analysis of the Gnostic gospels, an alternative to the New Testament which strikes a more eastern chord. For example: "Jesus said, 'If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.'" It is surprisingly readable and opens up an entirely new view of Christianity. It also includes a discussion of the gospel by Mary Magdalene.

11/19/2009 7:09 PM

Tonight I was on the freeway, traveling the 405 from Orange County during rush hour, chatting with Valerie on the phone, when I suddenly had the feeling that Valerie and I were supposed to do something together.

I could sense a kind of form out in front of me. There was nothing to see, but I could feel that it had substance. And it wanted us to walk in.

Well, asking Carrie and Valerie if they would like to walk into mystery is like asking us if we would like a spoonful of the most delicious desert ever created. You bet!

When we entered the space, we immediately sensed a presence, a powerful, divine presence. It was a very female presence—we sensed that immediately. Ah, a goddess, yes. Connected to our oracle selves, yes, that, too. And as we began to watch her, we saw amazing power shooting off of her, in vibrant colors and in all directions

For a time, we just basked in this power that we were invited to share, to enter, to embrace. Then a word crossed my mind, once, twice, then three times, and finally I spoke it aloud: Athena. Valerie immediately recognized her when I spoke her name aloud. Athena. I had not known that Valerie had connected with Athena before, and in fact , had a picture of her on her bedroom wall. Welcome, Athena!

We spent some time just experiencing the awesome energy that was flowing through us. Valerie began watching it as it flowed up her body from her feet. When it got to her throat, Valerie said that she felt that there was a female being lodged in her throat. We looked more closely and it was Mother Mary, with a bright golden halo and a blue gown, as in a Renaissance painting, there in Valerie’s throat. And then I heard that she was to be the voice of Mother Mary.

In the meantime, things were also happening on my side. It was as if the two of us were experiencing the different sides of Athena. Even as I was talking to Valerie about Mary, I felt armor being fastened to my body and a sword being put in my hand. And the very, very interesting thing is that it felt completely comfortable, as if I had always been a warrior. It felt like me. Ah, so this is who I am!

And as we saw ourselves this way, Valerie as the voice of Mother Mary and being literally soaked with love, and me glowing with power in golden armor holding a jewel-encrusted sword, the words came: “Be this. Be this.”

After I arrived home, we talked a bit more. We were curious about Valerie being the voice of Mother Mary, since this had never been a focus of hers. (But we must note that a few people had said to her in the last few days that they felt this energy in her …)

We were wondering what Mother Mary had to say, when I suddenly felt it. She said “I am not just the mother of Jesus. I am not just the path to my son.” And we felt from her the incredible wisdom and love she has to share.

Then Jesus appeared with a kind, loving glance toward Valerie and his mother and then turned to me. He grasped the sword in a very powerful, purposeful way and said: “Take this sword!” And Valerie and I were both immersed in this wonderful bath of love mixed with power.

So what now? Well, we certainly don’t know. All we know is that now we are not quite the same as we were a few hours ago.

11/13/2009 7:23 AM

Good morning. I feel that you have things to tell me. In fact, it’s flowing at me very fast.

Spirit: Yes. You have been receiving a good deal of guidance and energy in the last couple of days and really, now, know all that is about to be said. But this is a moment where clarity is required. You are to receive some very specific guidance about some steps to take. And, as you are beginning to feel, you are coming upon a moment of crucial choice and commitment.

There has been background work underway for the last few weeks, both energetically and physically. In the physical world, you did the work to self- publish your book and now the book proof is in the mail to you. So you are very close to having that in place. Also, you and Valerie have reviewed the wonderful mystical journey course you gave and have begun to have an understanding about creating a product from this. You have been a bit unfocused on your body, but energy work has been going on behind the scenes.

And now, we are about to launch into a period of intense activity in which your commitment and alignment to vision must exist without doubts and hesitations, without distance. This morning, you will receive a glimpse of what is to come in the next few months and will be asked to renew your personal commitment, your full commitment, to this vision.

First, allow us to provide some grounded understanding about what you are to do in fulfilling your side of the contract and the vision which underlies it. You have an ability to commune with Spirit and translate that into useful energies in this physical, earthly life. You have an overall direction and mission to lift people into their greatness. And what you are about to be asked to do is focus some concentrated energy on aiding people into their own communication with Spirit, for as you know, you cannot access your greatness on your own; it is a journey made with Spirit in your mind, at your side and deeply ensconced in your heart.

There are many people who are deeply desirous of what you are now able to do: to receive guidance and truth with ease. And without that ability, how are they to know what to do next? Without that ability, they are left listening to others, who give them rules to follow, rules they should probably be striving to break and reach beyond. There are many who have tired of the rules and roles they have lived within, who are searching for deep meaning in their lives, but do not know where to turn. As you well know, they have greatness within them and wish to reach it.

Be clear that you are not asked to continue to work with people one-on-one, although you may do that to a small extent if you care to. You are asked to broaden your work to reach as many people as possible and, as you have asked in the contract, to do so with sufficient financial compensation that you can free yourself and your energies to dedicate your life to a larger vision and purpose 100%.

And so, you will be asked to turn your energies toward several enterprises that are already underway.

First, you must promote your book tirelessly, because it has important things for these people to learn from you.

Second, you are to sell the recordings of your Soul Adventures, the mystical journeys you took with Valerie. They contain within them an important pathway to spirit, but presented in energies rather than in words. For some people, they will be the best path to our purpose.

And, as you were beginning to see yesterday, you will begin a weekly internet call-in radio show, “Ask Spirit,” in which you will reach guidance for people who have not yet learned to reach it themselves. And by making it a free radio show, you will reach many more than you can reach on one-on-one sessions.

And lastly, you will begin a Call to Greatness teleseminar course for those who are serious and ready to commit themselves to finding their own way and path with sparkling clarity.

As for your body, the time of half-hearted commitment is over. Right after this session here, you are to meditate and receive a flood of energy to raise your metabolism and lower your cravings. But before this meditation, you will be asked to renew your commitment to listening to guidance every moment of every day regarding your physical well-being.

And so, now, you can see a glimpse into the near-term direction and focus. Are you fully engaged in this? Does it have your heartfelt commitment to its unfolding?

Yes. I am ready.

Spirit: Then the time is upon us. Begin with meditation and then move into a state of awareness, a state of complete awareness of both the physical and the spirit around and within you, heightened awareness of not only what each moment holds, but the spark of potentiality within each drop of dew, each breath of wind, each zap of electricity. Move into this heightened clarity and live there.

We will move mountains with each breath.

Monday 11/9/2009 1:09 PM

Such an interesting thing happened last night. I was working on the back cover for A Call to Greatness and needed a blurb summarizing what the book is about. I suddenly thought to go to the final chapter of the book, “Accessing Your Greatness.”

I vividly remember writing that chapter, how it all came out of me in an inspired rush, word for word as it is now. But as is often the case with things I “receive,” I don’t always fully absorb them consciously at the time.

And there I encountered such a passionate statement of purpose that I was amazed. And I am still amazed that I hadn’t fully grasped the extent to which it is speaking, not only to my book’s audience, but also directly to me.

So here are the first three paragraphs of that chapter:

“I know, absolutely, that you have within you, right now, exactly as you are, the seeds of true greatness. You are like every other person I worked with, with a soul of beauty, love and greatness, and with the power to truly transform the world.

“This book is a call for you to step into that greatness, your own greatness, to let yourself shine out with all the light that is in you, illuminating not only your own life with joy and love, but that of those around you.

“This book is a call for you to be the love that lives within you. It is a call not only for you to go far beyond the definition of success you were taught, but to go into the deep core of love and light that you truly are, to become the full expression of your life’s highest purpose, of your soul’s deepest passion and intention.”

And as I read it, I can see and feel that my soul’s deepest passion and intention is to get this message across. And so, suddenly, speaking seems an obvious thing to do. And interestingly, the remainder of that chapter is a nice little summary of everything I might say in such a talk, all laid out for me.

Sunday, November 8, 2009 in the morning

How shall I focus my day today?

Spirit: First, post your Quado message. There is one waiting for you to receive. Your next priority is Ed's well-being. Third, it would be good to self-publish your book. That would be excellent.

With BookSurge?

Spirit: Excellent. Begin today.

Note from later in the day: It seems that BookSurge is now merged into CreateSpace, and the $300 setup fee no longer applies--setup is free! Excellent indeed. Could that be why I was guided to wait? Hmmmm...

Saturday, November 7, 2009 9:29 AM

I awoke this morning from a most wonderful little dream. I was in my mid-twenties. There was this incredibly cute guy who just lit up the room with his smile. And then, amazingly, he started to turn his smile and his attention on me, and it was like the sun coming up. He put his arm around me. He kissed me. And I was once again a young woman full of promise, with great vistas of life stretching out before me.

After I woke up, I felt how wonderful it was to be young, but also how great it is to be in this stage now. And importantly, I felt that this dream was somehow connected to a mystical journey Valerie and I took last night.

Yesterday, as I was getting into my car for an hour-long drive home, I thought that maybe Valerie and I needed to “go somewhere,” that there was a mystical journey waiting to happen. So I settled into my car, put my Bluetooth in my ear and called Valerie. Yes, she too had that feeling. OK, let’s go!

Right off, we could see two entities waiting for us. One was my guy, Mr. Galaxy (you can read about him in my Call to Greatness book in the Galactic Sisterhood chapter). The other was an entity attached to Valerie—well, actually an aspect of Valerie—that we had first spotted in another mystical adventure. He is a deep part of Valerie’s experience and is really hers to share, but she has given me permission to mention him here, because of his role in my energetic experience.

When I first saw him, he snapped his fingers—and we had the sense that the snap made things happen in the instant. He is very elegant and graceful and when I talk to Valerie, I often see him sitting in the upper left corner of my inner vision, possibly just waiting for the right moment to snap his fingers. We have come to refer to him as One Who Snaps His Fingers.

So there they were, our guides for this journey, ready to roll. For a while, we just traveled by stars and planets. Then a large structure of some sort appeared. My first thought was of a very tall, slender crystal, like a laser quartz. But then we saw that it was more like the Washington Monument, except that it had windows up and down the side. And in the pyramid at the top was a glowing light.

We both felt that we wanted to touch it. Valerie pressed her face against the window at the top, with her hands on the structure, beside her face. I did the same. We had the strong sense of knowledge pouring into us through our hands.

We were silent for a time, just quietly absorbing the knowledge, without any conscious awareness of what was flowing into us. It felt as if we were simply assimilating it. Our cells were literally zinging. We could see them as little round balls, just humming out a ZZZT, ZZZT sound.

Suddenly One Who Snaps His Fingers did just that—he snapped his fingers. And it was as if I were being thrown backwards. I remember I cried out “Whoa!” because of the strong energetic force I felt. My head literally went back against the headrest of my car seat. And at the very moment that I cried out, Valerie felt him put his hand on her shoulder and look deeply into her eyes, as if to tell her, “See this, watch this.” And she did see it; she saw me being snapped backwards energetically.

The word that came to her was RESET, and that feels exactly right, as if I were being reset in some way.

Then we were silent for a time as Valerie communed with One Who Snaps His Fingers and I gazed at Mr. Galaxy, who turned first into an incredibly beautiful Greek Goddess and then into a gorgeous Bengal tiger.

A thought crossed my mind that I should close my eyes to go more deeply into this energetic experience—and then I remembered that I was driving on the freeway at about 50 miles per hour! I told Valerie we needed to pull down from this place, because I had to get grounded again. She sent some angels my way with a little poem she has about angels being in front and behind. But then we saw another angel that I am deeply thankful for—she was sitting on the top of my car with both hands pushing down, keeping me anchored to the road. It made us laugh to see her riding along, holding me to the road—keeping my car from flying into the sky Harry Potter style. And then I also started tapping my nose to stay in the physical.

Finally, I was grounded again and all was well, but the journey did not want to end.

Shortly before the freeway off-ramp, Jesus appeared and the word HEALING came to me, something I did not quite understand until this morning.

Then we suddenly saw sparks flying off the top of the structure and had the strong feeling that the energy at the top of the pyramid was forming something, that it was a tangible, formative, creative energy.

We then saw that it had created golden rods of energy and understood that they contained the keys and codes of creation. The rods moved into our spines, and we understood that we were each uniquely encoded. I remember that it made me sit up very, very straight. And then, after a time, the journey simply ended and I finished my drive home.

So this morning, I had a feeling that my dream of youth regained was somehow connected to our journey of the night before. So Valerie and I talked again, and this time I could actually close my eyes!

As I started talking to Valerie this morning, I could see Mr. Galaxy standing before me. Then he suddenly turned himself into me, as I was in my mid-twenties, just as in my dream. Valerie and I talked about how I was truly a different person then, how all my cells from that time had long since reproduced and replaced themselves.

And then we saw that the cells as we age are reproducing in a cycle of decay, but that the codes and keys that were written in our cells at the time of our physical prime are available to us still, in that rod of energy that we had merged into our spines last night.

And now I can consciously focus on that golden rod of energy and spread it out into my body, invigorating and refreshing the keys and codes in my cells as they continue to reproduce. As I meditate, I can picture the energy from that rod emanating out from my spine, through my heart and into my arteries, strengthening and clearing as all of my cells are now reminded of the strength and beauty that they hold within.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I had a little attack of sadness yesterday. I was thinking about having Thanksgiving dinner here again this year, and I suddenly remembered how it felt last year. I was so involved in my show, rehearsing every day—and I turned Thanksgiving into a dress rehearsal. I was slimmed down and excited about my prospects, improving the show and lifting my performance. And when I put the show on in February, it was, in fact, a fabulous experience that sparkles in my mind’s eye still. But I was unable to turn it into the enterprise I had hoped for—and that made me sad.

Do you have something to say about this?

Spirit: Yes, yes, most certainly.

First, let us pull out of your individual story and into an analogy. Imagine that you were longing for a great love in your life. You meet a man and have the most miraculous experience. You connect on all levels. Every bit of hope and desire is kindled within you. You spend a day which stands out in memory as the most wonderful you have ever experienced, full of laughter and connection, a deep soul communication. Ah, at last, your heart sings, I have found him. Now it begins, the period of great happiness I have always longed for, all brought to me by this miracle of love and connection and romance, all in the person of this wonderful man who is finally here to answer my prayers.

And then you each go home, full of expectation of seeing each other again soon. But the phone does not ring. A day passes in anticipation: At any moment now, the phone will ring and you will hear his beloved voice. But it does not ring. You call him, but there is no answer, and your messages are left unanswered. You text and email, but there is no response. You try everything you can think of to excuse his behavior and keep your love and hope alive; you try everything you can think of to reach him. And all to no avail. And gradually, you stop trying and the hope dries up, and the anticipation is replaced by sadness and a sense of great loss, loss of what might have been, of what you had hoped for.

At this point, a normal human response is to take this mysterious event, something you truly do not understand at all, and explain it within a comfortable emotional story, a place you have been before, so that you can make sense of it. This place may be painful, but it is familiar. It could be anger at the heartlessness of others, with a deep sense of betrayal. It could be self-blame, where you ruminate over and over about what you did wrong and why you were not somehow enough for this perfect man. It could be a sense of hopelessness and resignation, about how things simply don’t work out for you because you are somehow unlucky in love. You know this place, this familiar place where your old childhood emotions get reinforced over and over by whatever happens to you.

But let us face the true facts: you have no idea what happened and most likely you never will. And knowing that this is the only true fact, you might realize that everything else your busy mind and hurting heart came up with is a fiction of your own making, an embellishment and reinforcement to your on-going life story.

So what else might you do? You might take this magical and wonderful day you experienced and hold it up like a jewel to the light. You might give thanks for having experienced something so powerful, for having had this one day to journey into the world of true connection with another person. You might accept as truth the love that flowed between you on that day and not sully it with your false story. You might smile inwardly to know how truly lovable you are, that such a person knew you in his heart for one precious day.

You might see how you shined on that day, how you glowed, and realize that it is within your power to glow like that again and again, in moment after moment, lighting up the world within you and around you, now that you see and understand what you are capable of being. You might take this one day and hold it up to the light as your inner treasure, there for you to gaze at in any moment you care to.

And you might realize the deep truth: that this was and is you, you just as you are, you in your shining glow of being, someone blessedly capable of love and connection, full of joy and laughter. How fortunate you were that this man came into your life for one day, to show you that you are full of love and infinitely lovable, that you shine with inner light and beauty, that you are, right now, deeply and fully, everything that you ever hoped to be, just you, just as you are, right now.

And then you might take this and apply it to all the mysterious circumstances of your life, to every fleeting moment that comes and then passes, appreciating it in its own beauty and glory only, free of the story and expectations that you might hang upon it.

It is so natural and human to do this, to experience beauty and ask for it to stay, but it does not stay. Even if it were to evolve into something closer to what you had hoped for, still, it does not stay. Still, each moment is there for its time, each relationship goes through its phases and its evolution, each enterprise has its exciting beginning and its inevitable denouement. This is not bad; it simply is. And if the start and the finish all happen in a shorter span of time than you had expected or wished for, it is still simply as it is.

We might, at this time, go into the possible emotional stories we can weave around your particular circumstance, Carrie. But we will not. We will not give strength and credence to what is, in fact, mere fiction, a made-up story in your mind to explain the unexplainable.

Instead, pluck out of your life this wonderful experience of preparing for the show, your friends coming to your rehearsals, your talent emerging and displaying itself, your voice strong and clear and full of beauty and heart. Recapture the intensity of your experience, all of it, the preparation and the show itself, in which you sparkled like a diamond on the stage. Remove from it any shadows of a story, any questions of “why” and instead, give thanks.

Give thanks for having had this moment. See again your little granddaughters in the front row as one of them cried out: “You are so beautiful!” in the middle of the show. See how they ran up to you after the show, how they wanted to be around your shine, how proud they were of having a special relationship with someone so glowing. See the smiles of the people in the audience and hear again how much they loved the show. Feel the power within you as you did exactly what you set out to do, as you reached inside and pulled it all out, as you glowed for everyone with your talent and power and showed what it is to take your heart and soul and let it sparkle for all to see.

Be glad. Be glad to be alive and to be capable of having such joy and holding it in your hands and heart. Be glad to walk this earth in this life, being who you are, just as you are. Know that this is within you, this power to reach in and find joy, bring it out and shine with it, lighting up all around you. Be glad.

And what of your story? What of your expectations and hopes you had draped all over this precious event? Let them go. Know them for what they are, shadowy fictions of no importance whatsoever. This moment, this shining moment, has no story, no weight of emotional expectation.

Be willing to give yourself over, to invest enormous amounts of energy and enthusiasm into your life and your loves and your enterprises, simply because to do so is the joy of this life. The joy lies in your investment in life, your deep emotional investment in creating beauty, sharing love, dipping into the endless well of joy and sharing it, shining and glowing with light.

Put on a show. Cook a great dinner for people you love. Plant a beautiful rose. The show will end, the dinner will be eaten, the rose will have its seasons. And through it all, you can add to your treasure trove of precious moments full of fun and joy, love and beauty. You can pull them out at your leisure and let your heart remember one precious moment after another, not as part of a story, but as the individual gems they truly are.

Thank you so much. Yes, I see all that. Thank you.

And now, how shall I focus my day? I’ve had this feeling that I should go forward with self-publishing my book. Should I focus on that? Or on sending the proposal out to agents? Or…?

Spirit: Today, do none of this. Today, focus on order, beauty and cleanliness. Straighten up. Clean. Adorn. Make your home a gracious place of ease, where you can relax and be free. Come at your life from a place of worry-free joy, a place of comfort and peace, a spot of beauty you have created.

Pull out the treasures of your life and look at them, let them shine. Take the spirit of each moment of fun, love and joy, communion and wonder, and send it out to inhabit every corner of your home. Create a place of serenity that is there for you no matter what occurs outside.

Your goal today is to create an emotional center of joy and love, harmony and beauty. And to do it through your physical efforts, so that at the end of the day, you fall exhausted into a most satisfying sleep, knowing that you have used your hands and your heart most usefully, preparing the soil and guiding the water, so that the white birds flying overhead may drop their seeds of wonder into a most fertile garden, a place where the bubbling water sparkles with light and the warm, dark earth is like an embrace, where every blade of grass sings with joy as it reaches up toward the sun, where every tree hurries from seed to branch in an exuberant expression of being, excited to show its leaves and bear its fruit, where each rose laughs with pleasure at its beauty and sends its perfume out to bless the world.

And you, you are the brightest rose of all, blessed with the ability to create this world from your heart and your hands, pouring out your love of life like water, singing as you bury your hands in the soil of being. Ah, how blessed you are, how covered in grace! What joy, what joy to be you, today!

Friday, October 30, 2009, around 9 in the morning

Last night I dreamt that my book was published. There it was, in hard cover, lying on a table. I picked it up and held it like a precious object, felt it, caressed it, experienced it. I can’t remember the rest of the dream, but I slept very, very soundly and awoke at 8 AM with the sun shining. I can’t remember the last time I slept in that late!

I could use some guidance on the best way to focus my time today. Well, of course—all I need to do is ask! OK. How shall I focus my day today?

Spirit: Do your consulting work, with emphasis on planning and organization. Get completely organized, so that in any free moment, you can put your hands right on what is needed, easily, fluidly.

Your goal is to have no stress. And that is accomplished by staying one step ahead of what your clients need. Be so transparent and clear that it is obvious that you are completely in charge and know what you are doing. Organization. Clarity. Transparency.

And then, you will take this organized, successful work, place it in a trunk, close the lid and snap the lock in place. You will go off to other activities knowing that this trunk is waiting for you to open when you next need to. And right on the top, when you first open it, is a list of what needs to be done next, who to call, who to meet, what they need to do, what you need to do. In other words, right on the very top is a treasure map, and the treasure is success for you and your client.

So today, draw that map. Take each client and map out a road to success: where to go and what to do to get to the treasure. Then do your administrative tasks so they are not hovering over you, write out what you need to do next week, put it all in the trunk and close the lid. Snap. Lock.

Leave no hanging worries. If there are concerns, then deal with them in your plan. Have a task to meet with someone and discuss the issues. Pull all the worries out of the shadows and into the light. Talk about them. Deal with the people who seem to stand in the way of your success. Hold the banner high and begin to march to success openly, clearly, declaring what you intend to do and the best way to do it.

Then notice how people will begin to fall into line behind you, relieved that someone is leading the charge. Notice how people will listen when you speak and then lend a hand. Everyone wants success and is looking for someone to lead them to it. Pick up the banner and be that person. It is the best vantage point in the world.

And then tomorrow, as a new day dawns clear and clean, and you arise relaxed and rested, your mind free of worries, we will talk again.

And we will not open that trunk until it is time to do so.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 9:50 AM, back in California

This morning I learned why I was asked to share this Contract experience publicly. Because this morning, I was ready to just call off the whole deal if I could just go back to bed instead of going to the gym to work out. Really.

Keep your million dollars. Just let me sleep.

But I did get up and get dressed and the minute I walked out the door and the sun hit my face, I realized I was really OK. And by the end of the workout, I could see that I can be quite functional even with the airplane head I picked up on my trip.

I also had an interesting experience while still in bed this morning. I saw my face looming large before me. I have no idea what it meant, but it felt significant. And when I briefly talked to Valerie this morning, she suddenly remembered that she had the same experience last night—with her own face, of course. We have no idea what this means, but we think we are to just take it in and not try to analyze it.

In my case, this vision was part of a response to a little persistent whine of mine. It goes something like this: “I just wish someone would come along and tell me how to make all the things I’ve done come together in one cohesive, marketable whole.” And what I got, right around the time of seeing my own face writ large before my eyes, was something to the effect that I am the someone to formulate the vision and that it needs to be based on my own personal mission. And if I don’t fully understand it yet, that is my job, not someone else’s, to reach that full understanding.

I also felt the power of my French Lady self within that, the strength she has of fully understanding her value and her place in the world.

I refer here to that past/parallel self who was so strongly present in my visit to France. I was talking to Valerie Sunday about her, and suddenly a portal opened up and dusty rose clouds started flowing through from her “time” to me. And within this flow was a strong sense of her knowing exactly who she is and where she stands in the world, and not allowing anyone or anything to tell her differently.

I should catch up briefly on my business trip to France. It was brilliant, really, in many ways. The guidance I was given was that I don’t allow myself to have enough fun, and I should just relax and enjoy myself. So when I wasn’t working in a conference room, that’s just what I did. I regained the weight I had lost before the trip, but I don’t regret a single bite or sip. I enjoyed the best food, coffee and wine imaginable and it was truly worth every ounce. My eyes and my mouth soaked up so much beauty.

So was there anything deeply meaningful that happened in France related to The Contract? Perhaps. I was traveling with a coworker who belongs to a conventional Christian church and has not explored the spiritual realms. Yet over dinner toward the end of our trip, as we both enjoyed the incredible food and drink, Spirit guided me to tell her about this other side of me. So for the next two dinners, I told all about my 15-year journey leading up to this Contract. And what was interesting to me was that she was fascinated and wanted to hear all about it.

I’ve had a sense that my target market, if you will, extends out into people who know very little of all this, but who are seeking more meaning in their lives. I look forward now to learning from her what areas are of particular interest to a novice, so to speak. I have a feeling that her feedback will help me better understand the big vision I learned this morning that I am to develop.

And one more thing. I had a feeling that I am supposed to follow through on self-publishing my book. I mentioned this to Valerie and she got a very strong YES on it as well. So when I get a moment, I will probably be guided to go that direction.

Well, let’s just check in and see what Spirit has to say today.

Hello, are you all there?

Spirit: Yes, yes, we are gathered, as always.

Was that OK, that I just relaxed and ate and drank all that wondrous food?

Spirit: Yes, you correctly interpreted our direction. Our Contract still stands. It is a wonderful thing to enjoy the beauties of life when they are offered up to you.

And what would you have me do now?

Spirit: Just post this entry, then do your consulting work. And when you have done what you need to do, what is lying in front of you asking for your attention, then we can talk about what to do next. You see, Carrie, life is really very simple. If you do not demand to know what is coming, if you do not worry about whether you are heading the right way, if you do not need to have a plan laid out in front of you to give you false comfort and security, then you will find that the thing to do is normally right in front of you, sitting there on your desk. So do that. And then that. And when all of that is done, ask again.

And what of this vision I am responsible for forming?

Spirit: It will come to you when the time is right. Just pay attention when people speak. Pay attention when information is offered. Take it all in and relax. Allow it to fill you with its dusty rose presence; allow your inner strength to be all that it is. Just be and the rest will take care of itself. It is all forming right now in the background. Everything you need to know is within you and all the pieces will fall into place.

So right now, meditate for twenty minutes, then post this entry, then do your work. And that will all be as it should be.

Thank you.

Spirit: You are most welcome.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 in Hossegor, France

I am writing this while sitting in my hotel room in Hossegor, overlooking a beautiful little lake. It’s a bit too cold to be sitting outside on the terrace, but I can see the lake from inside as well. I just had the most heavenly cup of coffee in a huge French cup (made in France, I see, not China) along with a lovely croissant.

I find I am so happy in France—I just take this incredible pleasure in the little sensual joys of this country. The sound of the language, the beauty of the buildings. And oh, my goodness, the wine. We are in Bordeaux country and have been enjoying Haut Medoc. I had a lovely Bordeaux blanc last night with my salmon, Chateau Tuilleries.

I’m listening for direction from Spirit, but keep just getting that I am to relax and enjoy myself as much as possible, which I am doing. When we are not in the conference room working, I am enjoying every moment. And I was so proud of myself for ordering us our breakfast in French this morning—it’s coming back to me a bit.

As for Biarritz, I just loved it. Fabulous place. And I felt so strongly the presence of that other me, that woman who lived in fin de siècle, with homes in France and New York, that privileged woman who haunts me with her sense of entitlement. When I was walking around certain areas of Biarritz, near the Hotel de Palais, where Napoleon III had his palace built for his empress Eugenie, I could hear the sound of horses in my mind, clip, clop, clip clop, along the cobblestones which must once have been there.

We had the most wonderful lunch at the Hotel du Palais, sitting outside overlooking the Atlantic. We had a proper French lunch, between 2 and 3 hours, just relaxing, talking, eating and drinking Haut Medoc. And I just felt so deeply satisfied, all the way down to my bones.

Have to go to work now. Can’t get on the internet this morning to post this for some reason, but that’s quite all right! Ah. Deep sigh for being alive and here, watching a bird skim across the lake.

Thursday, October 15, 2009, 2:55 PM

I have had nothing but computer problems all day--and things still aren't quite right. Some people say "everything's for a reason" or that things like this are mirroring back what's inside you. Each of those implies something different, but they both say that there is a cause, not just a random event. What's the story?

Spirit: Both of these approaches seek to answer the question 'why.' "Why do these things happen?" and especially, "Why do they happen to me?" The first seeks a comforting explanation, implying that even apparently bad things are part of a bigger plan. The second seeks a solution, something that can be fixed so that it doesn't happen again.

Ask not 'why,' but only 'what." What shall I do in this moment, given how things are right now? And as you receive an answer to this question, remember that the answer contains within it all knowledge of the past, the present, the likely future and the desires and intentions of your heart. All of this is within the answer that comes, wrapped in a blue ribbon of love and caring, your gift of loving guidance.

There is truly nothing more you need to know.

Thank you. By the way, is there anything happening on my contract? There's nothing apparent to me, except my weight.

Spirit: Alignment cannot be seen, but it can be felt, like a hum that runs underneath. And alignment is everything. Just dip down and feel the energy of our enterprise, like the whirring of a thousand angel wings. You are doing your part, asking for guidance and following it, moment by moment. That is enough. The rest is faith.

Wednesday, October 14, 6:05 AM

I'm very concerned. I spent the whole weekend on my website and eBook instead of getting ready for my trip. I have two client projects that are threatening to fall behind. I don't see how I'm going to make all this happen. And I'm tired. I set my alarm for 5 AM, but went right back to sleep. Thank goodness Ed woke me up. Help!

Spirit: Right now, when you believe you don't have a single moment to spare, is when you must meditate. yes, now. For twenty minutes. And just before you begin your mantra, place the intention that everything will fall into place in your mind, so that you may give complete focus to each thing when its turn comes, rather than being scattered and fragmented with worry.

For this is the key to accomplishing much in a short time. Each thing you do must have your complete focus. Focus on what needs to be done, do what you can do, ask others to help, then set it aside and move on to the next thing. One thing at a time in absolute calm, centered focus.

Now, go meditate. See the little scattered pieces all falling into place in your mind, like pieces of a puzzle finding a home. Ask also that you might be filled with energy and purpose. Now go.

6:54 AM

OK. I did my meditation, got the laundry going, got Ed helping me on a few things. I felt a real buzz when I was meditating, and I sure got my energy back!

Spirit: Yes, you certainly did! Now, slow down and be deeply present in each moment. Everything you do , all day, is to have your full conscious attention. Drink a lot of water, pause and breathe deeply. Allow your mind to settle into clarity. Ask for guidance when you need it. Allow your body to relax.

Post this on the web and then go to your client. You will be fine.

10:10 AM

Quick note. Was talking to Valerie on the freeway. I told her I got a rejection notice from a query letter I had sent to a literary agent. I was speculating about how all that is going to work, now that I am taking moment-by-moment guidance. And suddenly she saw Deepak Chopra, in front of her from the chest up. He said: "Take the path of least resistance."

That's pretty funny!

Gotta go set up for a demo.

Tuesday, October 13, 7:07 AM

I’ve lost 4 pounds. My jeans actually fit! Thank you.

Spirit: You have done well. Just continue to be present, to be aware of what your body is saying, and to check in before you eat or drink anything. Conscious, intended, aware action, moment by moment—that is the key to success.

I have 21 pounds left to go. And I’ve made several unsuccessful runs at this before.

Spirit: Yes, it is difficult to sustain will power for this duration, continually imposing your will over a rebellious self. But what we are doing is the opposite of will power. You do not need to make a decision in every moment about what to do, for you have made one decision that contains all the rest: to hand over decision-making, to act on faith, to trust that you will be guided to do what is best for you in every moment. And when you do this, your will and your rebellious self both relax, and it all becomes effortless.

How shall I focus my day today?

Spirit: Thank you for asking. First, find a very simple method for posting our communication on the web. This is not the time to investigate new technology. Just post these entries on your existing site in some way. Then do your consulting work. You have much to accomplish before your trip to France. Today is the day to do that.

I’m meditating as requested, but nothing amazing is happening.

Spirit: Excellent. What needs to happen is happening. It is simply not apparent to you in the physical. Even if your mind seems over-busy, even if you feel nothing, it still works, it still has its effect.

But you had some experiences, even if they were just fleeting.

True. I did--and they were fleeting. But OK, I’ll share. For a brief second, I felt Jesus’ presence and then felt energy encircling me, almost as if I were getting a little hug.

Spirit: Ah, and in that brief moment you received all that you need to sustain you for a lifetime. Pull that hug into your heart, now. Hold it there and then let it expand out. Know that you are deeply loved at all times. Let that energy move into every cell of your body, to feel the love, to relax the tension in your muscles, to remind you always that you are, indeed, living in a state of grace.

And as you work, pause and breathe from your heart, letting it flow. Be well.

Thank you.

Monday, October 12, 2009 8:16 AM

Since I was so rushed for time this morning, getting out the announcement of our Contract and then getting ready for work, you said it was OK to skip the affirmations, yet do a 30-minute meditation. What’s the purpose of those affirmations anyway?

Spirit: They are not for Spirit, they are to calm and synchronize your mind. It is easier to hear Spirit whisper, when it is not done over the busy shouting of your mind.

Thank you. that makes sense to me.

from 10/15/09 at 2:55 PM